"The Positives and Negatives of this life..."

Hello my blog followers (if any)! I know it's been a while, but I've been doing alot these past few weeks!lol Honestly I will only post in here when I feel really strongly about a obsticale in my life; good or bad. Well a couple of days ago, me and one of my besties Saph had a very long conversation about positives and negatives obsticales of life and how to overcome them(negatives) and how to rejoice them(positives). Basically I feel like in life, everything; good or bad, has positives and negatives. Sounds a little confusing right? Im a big analyzer of every aspect of life, so i tend to look into things a little too much. Let me give an example, okay, people are put into certain categories, "ooh he's mean", "oh he's nice". If you think about it, mean people have good qualities and bad ones, the same goes for nice people. A positive for a mean person is they usually get heard and get things inforced. A negative would be that they might not have to many friends. A positive for a nice person might be that they have lots of friends and they are very approachable. A negative on the other hand might be they are usually looked at as weak and a "push over". I know that's alot of information but what im basically saying is don't ever feel beneath or inferior to someone just because you are labeled something. Everyone has good and bad qualities regardless if you're a saint or a sinner. if that wasn't true, it would be a perfect world and no balance....Makes sense? I hope so.....lol

"Can Mrs. Becky Please Raise Your Hand!!!"

Okay so if you know me, you know that im a BIG Plies fan (ooo he so sexy...). Well Plies has a new single out for his new CD "Goon Affiliated" called "Becky". The song is hot, but the video is even better! Check it out! It's so damn Hilarious! Plies got the old cookbook bitches in the video giving up that "Becky"!lol


Plies Becky

" The more things change, the more they stay the same..."

Hello world! I know it's been a good lil minute since my last post, but I've been busy doing things...lol! Anyway, yesterday was my brother's 25th birthday,and it turned out to be a blast! We had a lil get together for him....and we were on cloud 9 the whole time! It wasn't too many people tho, just the regular crew and some surprise guest. Okay let me start off by saying that It's people that I use to hang tight with back in the day but I let them go because at the end of the day, they were not the type of crowd that I associated myself with. One of those people is my very own cousin. I won't name names, but if you know me personally, then you know who im talking about! Anyway as the lil bash got under way, guess who decides to pop up at the house....MY COUSIN! We have not seen or talk to each other in about a year in a half, well at least not in person. So he walks in the door and I was on the hush mouth for about a good 30 minutes! I had mixed feelings the whole night because I told myself that I would never ever hang with,talk to, or associate myself with him for as long as my life expanded, but it was my brothers birthday and I decided that it was time out for the drama just for one night. Even tho I didn't want him there, I was oddly glad to see him, I mean back in the day, we use to have so so so much fun. Where ever you saw me, you saw him. We was just that close. Over the years however, I came to the realization that he was never there for me. He was very vindictive,coniving, and envious. He has done alot of trifiling things back in the day and I didn't want to deal with it anymore so that's how our bond fell apart. Anyway after a few wine coolers, and a few jiggas, I let it all go. We started joking around,playing cards, and talking about the good times we use to have. All in all, we had a good time, and I really enjoyed myself. Just for that night, it felt good that we could still talk and keep it cute. I never was mad at him, I just didn't want to be around him because he always brung me down emotionally and I hate that feeling, especially when it comes from family. I still feel the same way about him, and I still don't want it to be an everyday thing with us hanging together because in the back of my mind, I know that he still isn't my cup of Tea. I'll always have love for him because he's my blood cousin, but as far as hanging out.....I'll pass. Do you think im wrong in anyway for feeling this way?

"Everybody has the same equal chance to change the world..."

Well my bestie Ruby called me this morning. I was so happy to hear from him, mainly because I wanted to know what his intentions were for moving so spur of the moment. He explained everything to me and I fully understand why he did what he did. All of my friends are leading somewhat different lives based on interest and social paths, and I realized that Savannah is not the place for Ruby to start doing what it is that he wants to do. Even tho I'm all for him doing his thing, I couldn't help but feel those tears finally come out. They wasn't tears of sadness tho. They were tears of joy. I'm happy for him. I want him to succeed. And I teared up because with the territory of his success comes departure. I can't say enough how much I'm gonna miss him, But I'll be okay, I mean after all he's only an hour away!lol

"Don't let the lifestyle take over your Life...."

Okay so if you didn't know by now... I'm Gay!lol Okay just wanted to give out that disclaimer before I continue with this! Well anyway, today was my usual Sunday; washing clothes,listening to music, cleaning my room, listening to music, painting my toenails over, and finally listening to music!lol Just a normal, redundant Sunday, that is until nightfall. Okay to start, usually around 9pm, Saph and Ruby comes over to watch ABDC with me. Today I didn't get a call from Ruby, so something was up with that already, I mean we were suppose to go to the movies and all today. So anyway Saph comes over and he gives me some disturbing news.... Apparently, Ruby decided to move today, no...not like move across town, but move out of town. It caught me so off guard. He didn't call me or nothing to let me know anything. At first I got sad, and then I got a little angry. I got a little angry because I couldn't believe he would leave and not say anything to me. Saph told me that the reason that he didn't tell me, is because he kinda knew that I wouldn't take it well and if he would have told me, he would probably end up not leaving. After hearing that, I was no longer angry, yet I was even more sad because I am really really Really gonna miss him. That's my best besties and we do everything together, we have a bond with a lot of things. I get so worried about him sometimes, and with him not being here, I can't keep track of him. Even tho he's gone(apparently), Ruby is very intelligent, so I know he'll be okay, and whatever he's doing, I'm pretty sure it's a obvious explanation for it. My heart is aching a little right now, but I'll be okay. Like I wanna cry a little, but it won't come out, because inside, I got faith in him and I know he'll be alright. If you can here me Ruby, Be Safe!!!! I love you sis, and I am definitely gonna shed some "missing you" tears....

"I guess it's true what they say..."

I just left the club maybe about 20 minutes ago, and I ultimately had the worst time. Not that that's anything new because the gay club scene in Savannah is just not what it use to be when I was a youngin. I enjoyed the show part of the club, as I always do, but after that, I honestly was ready to hit the exit.I think the reason why I didn't enjoy myself atleast a little is because my whole crew wasn't there with me. I found myself standing alone at points, just looking like I was ready to break out in hives!lol On top of that, I was completely sober which is a "no no" in the club for me. I need to be under some type of influence to be able to relax. I just get so tense and gittery around alot of homo's because they all...well some of them....hell most of them are arrogant and stuck-up and I just don't deal with those type of people. Oh well that's the way of the gay world I guess. I know one thing, if it isn't anything special going on at Mrs. Jade (the club) from now on, I won't be attending. It's a waist of time and 10 beans (dollars). Shit I could have kept my lil 10 and got me a five dollar sack and a pack of cigarettes.

"My time is near..."

Finally!!!!

I named this post "Finally" because I "finally" found someplace where I can release my day to day thoughts and feelings. I wanted to start blogging a long time ago,but I was skeptical at first. I didn't feel like it would bring me any excitement or enjoyment, that is until I visited one of my good friends blog spots on here. Just wanted to say, to Phoenix-Glenn, you inspired me to take that step out of the box and go with what my mind sets forward for me! Thanks man! I'm very excited to start this and even if I only get 1 follower, at least I know that I am admired by he or she! So hold on tight guys, this is promised to be a long and winding ride!