Don't be afraid to be exactly who you are....

"Dang that bitch is weird", "Man don't come in my hood with that bullshit", "Laaaammmmeeee" Just a few quotes from shit I’ve heard thru my path to finding my place in this world. I titled this blog post "Don’t be afraid to be exactly who you are" because you shouldn't have to worry about what a person thinks of you because you are doing what you love, rather it be taboo artistry, backwoods music producing...hell even bird watching (lol)! People that shun a person for taking interest in something non-trendy (for lack of a better phrase)to me are people that are lonely and more importantly lack creativity for anything. Ever since I can remember, I've been a very “out of the box” child. I never liked the typical things growing up that a young boy would be expected to like. Sports was never my thing, and not because I’m gay...well maybe a little (lol) instead, I would be in my room for hours on in trying to perfect my writing style, REALLY I use to sit down and write my name over and over and over again until it was cute and creative looking. The beginning of high school probably was my wake up call to be me. While it was hard to fit in at times, I am so happy I went thru what I went thru. Everybody knows that when you're that high school age, that is when you start to realize who you are. I had lots of friends and I took part in just about everything, Band, JROTC, Journalism etc., but something was always missing, I wasn't being myself because of thoughts of rejection. 11th grade is when the shit hit the fan. I was like, "Man fuck this shit, I Am Me and fuck what another nigga think" I started expressing myself thru poetry and the way I carried myself! I lost a couple of friends and was called cruel names. It got so hard for me, I just dropped out of school and went to Job Corps at 20 years old and that’s when I took off!!!! Job corps for the people that don't know is sort of an alternative schooling method with people from all walks of life. I was in a new place, but the hatred was still the same, and at times worst. I was all alone…me…this gay dark-skinned dude from little ol’ Savannah Georgia, but that didn’t worry me at all. I got into fights (Verbal and Physical) because of the person I was. I didn’t care what people thought of me, so much so that I joined the cheerleading squad for our Job Corps Center. Man every time I ran out there to cheer I heard so many slanderous comments but that made me stronger and competitive. Enough was enough though. My defining moment was at a poetry slam our center had once a week. I wrote a poem called, “Just being me”. That poem set me free from criticism and I even gained a lot of respect from dudes that use to call me names. One dude, I can’t remember his name came up to me afterwards and was like, “Man I got to give you props for being able to go in front of all those people and express yourself” that moment changed me. When it was time for me to leave Job Corps, I had so many supporters, individuals I grew fond of cried, My cheerleading coach even threw me a going away M.V.P party and everyone was there EVEN the center director, all because I let go of being afraid to be me and let my truth shine thru. I guess I am saying all this to tell all the people that feel different that you aren’t by yourself baby. I am 29 years old at this very moment, but I’m STILL dealing with rejection because of who I am, the only difference now is….I DON’T GIVE A SUPER SAIGON FLYING FUCK! LOL People are going to judge, it’s a natural human emotion, but don’t let what someone say influence you to not be exactly who you are. You are not one dimensional like them, you are soooo much more. The road is winding, but the payoff is fantastic! Remember this saying: “Not everyone is going to be touched positively by what you say and do, but not everyone has to, that’s why it’s called “Unique”. So you wanna be a gay rapper? Go ahead and let dem rhymes flow! Wanna be a male make-up artist? Beat them mugs bitch! Wanna be a female bodybuilder? Pump it up! Lol Live Your Life creatively, uniquely, and be unafraid!!!!

The Element of FREEDOM....

Hello Blog Followers! Okay So today I decided to walk to the nearest park and jot down some thoughts and it turned into a thought provoking poem of sorts! I gotta give props to where my inspiration came from. Firstly, I gotta say that Alicia Keys' newest CD "The Element of Freedom" brought on all kinds of thoughts that put me in a happy, satisfied state of mind. And last but not least, my Accounting teacher Mrs. Cynthia Lewis-Holmes. That lady never let me complain or sulk in depression!

Okay here it goes.... it's entitled:
Elements of Freedom
The element of freedom is the moment when an individual feels comfort in any given situation, state of being, and the security of knowing that all things in this complex life can be free of negativity. I know this because I am the paragon of freedom. If all beings of this world would take the time out to focus on patience, self love, and dreams of becoming MORE, then the weight of the world can and will be lifted with only the strength of a single muscle of the spirit. Someone once told me that failure is a state of mind, and I believe that whole heartily. You are the only person that can take the blame for harsh trials that tends to tip-toe through this life. I say, stop dwelling on past mishaps and PUSH forward to new beginnings, new ideas, new relationships, humble thoughts, and passive friendships. Ask yourself these questions: Am I willing to become what I expect myself to become? What are the steps I should take to become MORE? When I reach the limit of my goals, how can I contain this awesome willpower to ensure stable, positive living? In my eyes, these are the only questions that should be asked of yourself, any other questions should fall easily into place like the feather of an eagle falling gently on the foundation in which it lands. Complaining shows that you are not in charge of your own destiny. I say, less complaining, MORE damage control. When you encounter problems, refer back to the source. I guarantee that the source of those trials has your name written all over it. Once you realize the source of your faults, vow to never take a meandered walk through that era ever again. Most of mankind's negative thinking and doing comes from not learning from past negative thoughts and actions. How many times have you encountered a problem that you've encountered before? How many times have you encountered a failed relationship because of an previous failed relationship? Think of all the times you told yourself "No", and ended up saying "Yes". Each NO that's answered YES is a self created problem. Each YES answered NO is a hold back of personal greatness. The Elements of Freedom can be defined simply by the way YOU choose to go about life. A wise person told me that everyone was put on this earth for a reason....I Say... Everyone was put on this earth to pursue the Elements of Freedom.
Think About It.....

Everything Happens for a REASON..positive or negative.

Hello blog followers! Alot has happened in this past month. I am one more step closer to becoming the successful individual that I am striving to be, but with success comes side-tracks. I am a very emotional and sensitive being, so when the least of problems come my way, I tend to fall into a pit of depression. Don't worry, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, so I won't be upset for long! People might call me weird and awkward from the way I speak of problems, but guess what, not one person will ever be able to call me dumb,weak,illwilled,selfish,or any word that describes fault. I AM A survivor! I have the gift of PATIENCE and the knowledge of 10 wise men! Okay, enough with the mushy stuff.... I am noticing that I am becoming more and more brighter intelligence-wise as each day goes by. At one point I was the worst when it came to budgeting funds, but now I don't have a choice! I can't buy Jordans every other week anymore, but I like that I can't afford my wants as much as I use to. Life is good man, and I plan on tackling every obstacles as it comes my way!

Long Time Coming...

Hello world! I know it's been a minute since my last blog, but trust I've been busy trying to get this "Ms. Independant" thing going strong!lol Well alot has happen to me and for me in the past 6 months. I moved into my first apartment (with a roommate) and that went fairly well...until I realize that you don't really know a person until you move in with them. Rather it be a best friend or a family member, you can't really be sure how a person is mentally,physically,emotionally and financially until you live with them and this was proven to me thru that whole era of being in a roommate situation. Anyway besides all of that capital D drama, I finally move officially out on my own and man I got to say I feel so liberated and good about myself. Even tho my funds are cut short due to LIFE, I still feel happy that Im doing things on my own. I can actually sleep butt bootyhole naked now and not worry about someone busting in to see my no no parts!lol Like I tell my friends and family; I needed to do this for myself so I can get use to living independantly. I've always been up under my mom and friends for shelter and security, and that's not a good thing when you're 26 years old honey! So that's that. School is going...eehh....sorta well. Accounting is kicking my entire ass with a steel toe boot with a 6 in heel on it (dramatics), but hey, I didn't come this far to end it just because of a measely one class. Thats what got me in trouble in high school...well that and I didn't have as much drive as I do today. I think what fuels me to push myself into success is the thought of living comfortably in my own skin and waddling in my own cash! I daydream alot about something simple as driving my own car to the beach and listening to Sade's "Color of Love". Yeah that sounds ordinary, but for me that's a big dream. I can't wait to get settled in a Career and do big things. I must say that I have alot of potential to be featured in someone's magazine, and by golly im gonna get there one way or the other!

"The Positives and Negatives of this life..."

Hello my blog followers (if any)! I know it's been a while, but I've been doing alot these past few weeks!lol Honestly I will only post in here when I feel really strongly about a obsticale in my life; good or bad. Well a couple of days ago, me and one of my besties Saph had a very long conversation about positives and negatives obsticales of life and how to overcome them(negatives) and how to rejoice them(positives). Basically I feel like in life, everything; good or bad, has positives and negatives. Sounds a little confusing right? Im a big analyzer of every aspect of life, so i tend to look into things a little too much. Let me give an example, okay, people are put into certain categories, "ooh he's mean", "oh he's nice". If you think about it, mean people have good qualities and bad ones, the same goes for nice people. A positive for a mean person is they usually get heard and get things inforced. A negative would be that they might not have to many friends. A positive for a nice person might be that they have lots of friends and they are very approachable. A negative on the other hand might be they are usually looked at as weak and a "push over". I know that's alot of information but what im basically saying is don't ever feel beneath or inferior to someone just because you are labeled something. Everyone has good and bad qualities regardless if you're a saint or a sinner. if that wasn't true, it would be a perfect world and no balance....Makes sense? I hope so.....lol

"Can Mrs. Becky Please Raise Your Hand!!!"

Okay so if you know me, you know that im a BIG Plies fan (ooo he so sexy...). Well Plies has a new single out for his new CD "Goon Affiliated" called "Becky". The song is hot, but the video is even better! Check it out! It's so damn Hilarious! Plies got the old cookbook bitches in the video giving up that "Becky"!lol


Plies Becky

" The more things change, the more they stay the same..."

Hello world! I know it's been a good lil minute since my last post, but I've been busy doing things...lol! Anyway, yesterday was my brother's 25th birthday,and it turned out to be a blast! We had a lil get together for him....and we were on cloud 9 the whole time! It wasn't too many people tho, just the regular crew and some surprise guest. Okay let me start off by saying that It's people that I use to hang tight with back in the day but I let them go because at the end of the day, they were not the type of crowd that I associated myself with. One of those people is my very own cousin. I won't name names, but if you know me personally, then you know who im talking about! Anyway as the lil bash got under way, guess who decides to pop up at the house....MY COUSIN! We have not seen or talk to each other in about a year in a half, well at least not in person. So he walks in the door and I was on the hush mouth for about a good 30 minutes! I had mixed feelings the whole night because I told myself that I would never ever hang with,talk to, or associate myself with him for as long as my life expanded, but it was my brothers birthday and I decided that it was time out for the drama just for one night. Even tho I didn't want him there, I was oddly glad to see him, I mean back in the day, we use to have so so so much fun. Where ever you saw me, you saw him. We was just that close. Over the years however, I came to the realization that he was never there for me. He was very vindictive,coniving, and envious. He has done alot of trifiling things back in the day and I didn't want to deal with it anymore so that's how our bond fell apart. Anyway after a few wine coolers, and a few jiggas, I let it all go. We started joking around,playing cards, and talking about the good times we use to have. All in all, we had a good time, and I really enjoyed myself. Just for that night, it felt good that we could still talk and keep it cute. I never was mad at him, I just didn't want to be around him because he always brung me down emotionally and I hate that feeling, especially when it comes from family. I still feel the same way about him, and I still don't want it to be an everyday thing with us hanging together because in the back of my mind, I know that he still isn't my cup of Tea. I'll always have love for him because he's my blood cousin, but as far as hanging out.....I'll pass. Do you think im wrong in anyway for feeling this way?